In Medias Res # 26- All's Well
My apartment is three quarters packed. There is something really depressing about living in a place with nothing on the walls, no books in the bookcase, no lamp on the night table. I am excited to move though, and I am ready to get out of Dodge as it were.
Today in an attempt to procrastinate I have been reading my old postings, and doing that most sacred of student affairs activities: reflecting. I keep getting asked if I am worried or nervous about moving to a new city. “Are you stressed?” My supervisor inquired last night at dinner.
Surprisingly I’m not. Looking back it is interesting to see how much enthusiasm I mustered for the wrong kind of job. To a certain extant back in January I was mostly romanticizing the notion of being done. I also had wildly unrealistic expectations about what moving to some of these campuses would be like. Somehow I managed to convince myself that working in a Residence Life department two hours away from a major city would provide me with plenty of opportunities to visit said city.
On the whole I am surprised how very often in my posts I am simultaneously peeved and excited. Mostly I just remember being stressed and cranky. This was a very rough semester for me. My course work got neglected basically throughout March and April (I was always on planes. I never had time to do reading). My social life was non existent. The few times I was in town for more than an evening I just wanted to veg out and of course, work on my applications.
In retrospect I learned a couple of things from this search:
- If it feels wrong, it is wrong. My gut was right 99% of the time in this process. I knew who was going to call me back. I knew who wasn’t really enthused about my candidacy and I knew who I didn’t want to work for.
- That said, I ignored my gut too often. I was doing first round phone interviews for positions well into April. I had some scheduled that I had forgotten about even after I accepted a position. This level of desperation was completely unnecessary. I wasted my time and I wasted the interviewer’s.
- I have a lot more stamina than I give myself credit for. Maybe it’s because grad school was this warm and supporting environment, but I more than met the marathon challenge encompassed in two weeks of back to back campus visits. Although I don’t plan on normally working myself that hard, it is nice to know going into my next position that I have untapped resources.
- I can actually get what I want, and more than that I can get precisely what I want. When I first started graduate school one of our professors’s asked us to write a letter to ourselves about our ideal position. Where would we be? What would we be doing? Looking back at the research project that spun out of that letter, I am pleasantly surprised at how much the job I have matches the job I wanted. Not just in terms of position, but also location, campus environment, and yes even salary.
Since I’m in a list making mood, here are some recommendations for people who will be searching next year:
- If you can afford it, go to a placement. Lots of members in my cohort opted not to attend the Joint Conference because the assumption was they would not find their job there. Yes, placements are rife with Res Life jobs, but I’ve since learned that’s proportional. There are lots of great positions at placement in all facets of the university, and you do yourself a disservice if you fail to put in the face time. My position would have been basically unattainable if I had not attended a placement.
- Find one person to vent to. Just one. Everybody’s search is different, and everybody responds to the stress of the situation in a unique way. Find the one person whose temperament is most like your own and share with them. It will keep you and your stress in check, and everyone else will appreciate you more.
- Start early. Especially if you are a procrastinator start putting your resume and a cover letter together over Thanksgiving break. Even in you are not going to placement you never know when a job will pop up and it makes it easier to apply if most of the work is already done.
- Start saving money now. Most of it you will get back in taxes if you keep your receipts, but doing a national job search can be prohibitively costly.
- Figure out the essentials and stick to them. I interviewed out of fear with institutions where I would have been miserable. Stick to the essentials, and you will have fewer regrets.
- Be flexible. Just because you’ve never heard of a school or a town, doesn’t mean that it’s not a fabulous institution. Although I didn’t end up there, there were lots of institutions not on my radar who ended up near the top of my list after a bit of exploration.
- Don’t settle. It would have been easy to jump on the first good fit that came along, but I had my heart set on a position. I stretched everyone’s patience a little bit, but in the end I got what I wanted.
- Be the best possible version of yourself. And you know what I mean. I met too many people in this process who gave into their baser instincts at times, and when you are trying to evaluate a position or a campus the baser instincts get highlighted in neon. Everything seems that much more unpleasant.
I move next week, so who knows when I will have the internet again. Assuming this is my last post (and it may not be) I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time out to scan my musings. I know a lot of this was redundant, but hopefully you found at least some of it amusing, dear reader. Shout out to Hirstin Moh for keeping me on track with the postings. Best of luck to everyone who is about to start a new position or who is still looking for one.
Pick Me-Choose Me-Hire Me #25- Responsibility Sucks
We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? ~Meredith GreyOkay, okay...I realize that I haven't exactly been on top of the whole updating thing. I think it's because it is finally SUMMER which means no work, no classes, no homework, and no drama. Let me just say, it has been phenomenal! I worked out a deal to be able to stay in my apartment on campus and then just move straight to my new job which eliminates a move home to live with my parents. Not only does this save me a move, but it also means that I don't have to live with my parents for six weeks. Granted, I love them dearly, but I think as a 24-year-old Master's graduate I wouldn't fare well with taking orders and being given chores. I think my parents would agree that we are both happier this way. In order to "earn my keep" while on campus, I have been given a few responsibilities around our department. I've been working with Hall Director Recruitment and Selection and will help to welcome the new grads and full-time hall directors to campus which is right up my alley. I have been asked to make welcome baskets and other such fun things and I may be chauffeuring candidates around campus via golf cart during on campus interview days (that was my idea!). In the meantime, I have has a LOT of free time.I have been filling the time with three main sources of entertainment. Books, movies, and eating. Seriously, that's all I do. Oh, and flying kites. It is really windy on our campus so my supervisor and I bought kites and have flown them a lot. There is something equally relaxing and exhilarating about flying kites. It's like you are brought back to your childhood, experience a Mary Poppins flashback (let's go fly a kite, up to the highest heights...) all while getting some sun. It is truly wonderful. I have also been reading like it is nobody's business! I actually forgot how much I loved to read. I have been trying to read a combination of current best sellers, trashy romance novels, and classics at the same time. It is amazing! I think my book reading has been helped due to the fact that my supervisor (who I am now friends with) and my undergrad mentee (who I can now call a friend since she is no longer on contract and I have graduated) are both staying here this summer and also LOVE to read. We have reading parties 6-7 times a week. We just pick a spot on campus, bring our current book, and read for hours on end. Sometimes we never talk and sometimes we pepper our reading with discussions about the book topics or just random things that pop into our minds. Sometimes we take a break to watch a movie or get food, sometimes we read for hours. This is my idea of heaven. On a much less hopeful note, I am also in the process of buying a car, packing up my life, and moving 2274.95 miles (seriously, I just Mapquested it) to a totally new life, job, state, and universe for that matter. Let me tell you right now. If you are even contemplating moving far away from where you are now, start saving money. I don't care if you are thinking about moving in 10 years. You should really start saving money now. EVERYTHING that has to do with moving is expensive. Moving vans, boxes, insurance, gas, motels, occasional side trip, food, it just keeps adding up! Luckily, my parents have graciously offered to loan me the money upfront so I don't have to take out another loan from the bank so I'm not worried about not having the money. I'm more pissed that everything costs so much. I guess this is a welcome to the dreaded "real world" that I put off for two additional years by going to grad school. Well, I have another book that is calling my name. If you by chance have any books that you would recommend for summer reading, send them my way at pickmechoosemehireme@yahoo.com. I'll compile a list and then re-post your suggestions here so if others are in the same both that I am in (i.e. just waiting for life to start again) we can have a virtual book club going. Happy summer!
In Medias Res # 25: The Upside of Unemployment
Ok, so there is an obvious monetary downside to how much time I will be without a paycheck (two months, in case you were keeping tallies). In that time I need to move (and pay movers), eat, set up an apartment (including utilities) and keep myself from going insane with boredom. That said, there are some really nice consequences of not having a job.
- I can sleep as late as I want
- I can stay up as late as I want
- I am reading about a book a day. Sometimes more.
- I have time to cook complex satisfying healthy meals. Yesterday I tried a salmon recipe that took four hours. But it came out amazing and was completely worth it (I’m also saving insane amounts of money by eating every meal at home).
- I have time to catch up on all the stupid movies I’ve missed in the last two years. Seriously, before unemployment I didn’t even know who Amanda Bynes was!
- I have read every issue of the New Yorker that was published this year.
- My i-pod is always charged when I go for a run.
- My laundry is clean, put away and folded nicely. I have no half unpacked luggage lying around.
- My bed gets made every day.
Were it not for the lack of money I think I could really learn to love unemployment. Now admittedly I do find myself occasionally bored, and I have been jotting down work ideas in a notebook for the past few weeks, so I’m clearly restless and ready to start work. Next week I really have to get down to the nitty gritty of packing, and I’m sure the actual moving process will be stressful. But these last two weeks of blissful nothing have been pretty spectacular. I highly recommend it, if you can swing it.
Pick Me-Choose Me-Hire Me #24- Summer
I LOOOOOOOVE Summer! The end. PS More updates later, I promise. But right now there is a trashy novel that has absolutley NOTHING to do with theory or student affairs or higher education calling my name!
In Medias Res #24: The 2007 Student Affairs Apartment Hunt
Well, that was a long weekend.
I tried to make things easy on myself by staying with a friend who lives just outside of my new town. I figured I would get some sleep and then drive in early the next morning to start my search. Which is exactly what I did. Except I failed to realize that I was traveling with the oncoming traffic into the city, and about five minutes from my exit the traffic stopped. As such, I started my day late.
But that was okay because the first few apartments on my schedule were keys with a code in a lockbox. That’s right dear reader, the property manager didn’t come to open the apartment for me. He just told me where to find keys so I could break in. Needless to say all of these apartments were underwhelming. One of them was a little bit bigger than some of the other units I looked at, but the neighborhood was a little uncomfortable and the apartment itself needed a lot of work.
So I moved on. I met my next appointment and the apartments he showed me looked like sets for a movie about intravenous drug users. And he was late. Call me anal retentive, but this is your job. I would never be late for a meeting, and if there were unavoidable circumstances I would at least let people know I was going to be late to the best of my ability. Whatever the case, I was not about to rent a crackhouse. You can get those for free.
At this point it was 9:15 and I had exhausted half of the internet leads I had set up. I decided to just start driving around and looking for rent signs. This proved fortuitous. First, I ran into a rental office right in between the two neighborhoods I wanted to live in. The realtor was really nice, showed me a lot of units, and the day was finally starting to look up. I could actually see myself living in one of these places.
I went to my next appointment and again the realtor was late. This time by more than an hour. You may be asking yourself why I waited so long? Well, I really wanted to see the apartment and I became enchanted with the neighborhood as I walked around waiting for her. When she finally showed up and let me see the unit, I walked in and out. The floor plan was horrible.
So I returned to driving. I called one sign and they told me to come to their office. Where I was greeted by a loud and emphatic, “How old are you?” This was announced dripping with condescension, and about five minutes later when the property manager explained to me she couldn’t even show me the apartment because I did not have three different prior landlords to refer me, I left.
And called another sign. This one I had much more luck with. They showed me three apartments, all in my price range with nice layouts and the amenities I wanted. The property manager was even pleasant and told me all about the neighborhood (and even a bit about its drawbacks).
I was basically ready to sign a lease but I had to go meet a college friend for lunch (even though it was already early afternoon). We had a great meal at this charming small Italian restaurant and she walked me over to her property manager’s office where they took me to see a couple more apartments. Even though these apartments were technically bigger the finishes were very 70s basement. Way too much wood paneling for one person.
After all of this I went back to realtor #4 and rented the apartment I had intended to. I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with friends and suffering the long drive back to campus. I have moving funds from my new office so now I need to hire movers (it is, alas, a third floor walk up). In just a few weeks In Medias Res will be hitting the road again, and next time he’s not coming back!
In Medias Res #23- I'd rather do this instead of packing
How is it that something you can enjoy in the abstract can become stressful and mundane in reality? In other words, when did apartment hunting start to suck?
I was excited about this before (as you could probably tell from the last few posts). A new apartment! A new neighborhood! Possibly even places to go out where students are nowhere to be found! Don’t get me wrong I love students, but I love them even more when they stay away from my favorite restaurants and coffee shop (which where I am now happens pretty rarely).
Apartment hunting really isn’t all that bad. I just thought it would be easier. I don’t know why I thought moving to a new city with a major real estate market would be easy. But I did. So tomorrow I start the trek back to my new campus to hunt for apartments. That in itself could serve as the premise for a blog.
Here’s some stuff I’ve noticed for you graduate students (or professionals) who may be planning a major move:
-I should have started saving for this when I started my job search. Granted, I figured there was a good chance I’d be living in (although it’s not as if that move would have been free either). It would have been the smart thing to do, though. For example, I won’t get my security deposit or utility deposits back before I move into the new place. Since I would like to have the electricity turned on I’m going to need to front that money. And pay off my credit cards for the job search. And subsist on no salary. My new employers are giving me moving funds, but it’s all through reimbursement.
-Oh yeah, I won’t be getting a salary between now and the end of July. So again, I probably should have saved some more. Right now I have enough cash on hand to get me through an apartment deposit, utility deposit, and buying some new stuff for the new apartment. I will be cutting it close, and to be completely honest I don’t know how much this new city is going to cost.
-Craigslist is not the be all end all. Although, you’d think so if you asked my friends where they found their apartment. Lots of websites, like rent.com and apartments.com only have listings for major complexes (and if that’s where you want to live, kudos). You’re best bet? Going to the website of the major newspaper and looking through the electronic classifieds. Apparently everybody still advertises in the newspaper (real estate professionals are so Web 1.0).
I’ll give you all an update on the apartment hunt (maybe even with pictures if I can get my act together) when I get back. Hopefully it will be relatively uneventful and I will return with a job, a masters degree and apartment (although 2 out of 3 aint bad).
Pick Me-Choose Me-Hire Me #23- Dreams
We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all. ~Meredith GreyIn the past week, I graduated with my Master's degree, closed a building, bid farewell to my amazing staff of RAs, and have already said goodbye to one of my closest friends in grad school. What else has happened over the weekend?I ACCEPTED A JOB OFFER!Unlike the last time I proclaimed this statement, this time it is actually true. I got back from my graduation ceremony and found the red light of my voicemail lit up on my phone. For some reason that I still don't understand, I decided to check it even though under normal circumstances I would have waited until the work week started again. I had a message from my #1 Dream School (you know, the one I've been going on and on about for the past few posts) that said that they would like me to call them back. I immediately did so and they offered me the job on the spot, which technically means I had a job before graduation! Now, I had planned to play it cool and try to negotiate some additional terms (even though all of the benefits and salary had already exceeded my expectations), but I was so damn happy I said yes right away. I can't say that I'm surprised that I did this though, because I have had my heart set on this position for almost half the year.When I walked on campus, I absolutely felt at home. People have been asking me what about the school I like so much and it has been difficult to explain. There isn't one thing or two things that sold it for me, but it was how valued I felt when I was on campus. I had the same experience when I visited my undergrad institution for the first time. It is hard to describe, but you just know that it is going to be a good fit. Also, I did some additional research on some of the details of their health benefits and they have full benefits for domestic partner's and their children. This was something that I wanted a school to have because as a LGBTQ ally, I wanted to be at an institution that valued equal benefits. I didn't think that this school would offer these benefits due to the religious affiliation, but I was totally wrong. Yet another reason why I am going to like this place! I realize that my first job won't be a walk in the park, especially since I am moving all the way across the country, but I know deep down that this institution will be good for me as a person and as a professional. I have no doubt that I will be challenged and offered experiences in areas that I am not familiar with as a grad student. I know that the surrounding community will offer tons of opportunity for fun and personal balance. I know that the students that I work with will make me a better professional. And most of all, I know that I will be happy. As I look back through my posts, it is hard for me to put into words what this job search has been like for me. I have definitely had a love-hate relationship with the entire process. I loved the rush of adrenaline after reading a job description for the "perfect job." I loved going online and figuring out what the surrounding community was like and how I could see myself there. I loved telling my friends about the details of the position and already making plans to visit each other at our hypothetical perfect institutions.However, at the same time, I hated the job search. I hated that it was the automatic way to procrastinate my last year as a grad student. I do not even want to think about how many hours I spent researching schools, applying online, or putting together information packets for the Joint Conference. I hated how much money I spent on ACPA/NASPA, dry cleaning, postage for thank-you cards and buying flights for two on-campus interviews. I hated how there was an undercurrent of competition between my cohort members when we are in a helping profession. I hated the feelings of inadequacy and incompetency that the job search thrust into the light.Although the job search both drained and energized me, I could not be happier with where I am now. I get to stay at my school for a few more weeks, drive cross-country with my best friend, and start a new life at my dream school. Overall, I couldn't ask for anything more than where I am now. Thank you for sticking with me dear readers and I look forward to updating you on the craziness of a cross-country move!
Pick Me-Choose Me-Hire Me #22- Reflections
If you knew this was your last day on Earth, how would you wanna spend it? ~Meredith Grey
Well, in a few short hours, I will walk across a stage, receive a piece of paper with my name printed in fancy calligraphy, change a tassel from one side of a mortarboard to the other, and officially have my Master's degree. The first thought that pops into my mind is "Where in the hell did two years go?" My second thought is "I really don't feel like a master of anything." My third thought is "THANK GOD!"
Don't get me wrong, grad school has been a phenomenal experience. I learned a lot about higher education, student affairs, and myself. I was fortunate to be a member of a phenomenal cohort, work with great colleagues, and supervise some of the most amazing students on Earth. However, it wasn't all peaches and cream. There were 100's of pages of writing, 1,000's of pages of reading, and countless hours mulling over new thoughts, ideas, and concepts. Oh, and let's not forget about an entire day devoted to testing us on this massive amount of information that has been crammed into our brains for the past two years on top of almost full-time jobs.
However, even though I am exhausted from thinking and reflecting, I feel ready. I feel ready to get out the state where I have spent my entire life. I'm ready to move away from everything I know and love and go fall in love with somewhere else. I'm ready to be thousands of miles away from my friends because I know that mileage has nothing to do with the strength of a friendship. I'm ready to be a professional and make my own decisions about what I think is best for the students that I work with. I'm ready to be a part of a campus community that lives and breathes their mission and values, which brings me to my next point.
This week I had an on-campus interview with my #1 school. This is THE school. The Dream School. The school that has met all of my major criteria for an institution. The school that I have been obsessing over since December. I was really worried that they weren't going to live up to the hype that I had generated in my mind for the past few months, but this could not have been further from the truth. Since I haven't updated in awhile, I'll just go through my visit and try to help you understand just how excited I am about this prospect.
First, I was picked up at the airport by my host and by someone that interviewed me at ACPA. They took me to a Mexican restaurant that overlooked the ocean (not telling you which one!) and it was just phenomenal. There were no awkward pauses in conversation, not weird questions, and I just felt very comfortable with both of them. After dinner, they dropped me off at the campus apartment where I would be staying. I was greeted with a welcome sign, basket filled with goodies, a stocked fridge, and a personalized message from the leadership team. Needless to say, I was impressed. Although I am a little embarrassed to admit this to the entire world, the moment my host left, I shut the door and jumped up and down throughout the living room because I was just so damn happy!
The next day I had breakfast with my host and then the barrage of interviews began. However, unlike my other on-campus interview, every single person was on time (and even early!), they all had questions prepared and my resume in front of them, and seemed genuinely interested in not only getting to know me, but also in me getting to know them as potential colleagues which was refreshing. I met with the Director of Res. Life who was an alum of my grad program and the entire 30 minutes was a dialogue between the two of us about the institution, transitioning from this program to the institution, and my undergraduate experiences. I felt as though I wasn't just being asked to list off my skills and abilities, but it was really about getting to know me as a person.
The day continued with more interviews and I was able to meet a lot of campus colleagues from a variety of offices, as well as people who have the position that I was interviewing for throughout the day. One of my criteria for a position was to find a department that was social outside of work hours and an environment that lent itself to developing friendships. This institution and department definitely met this criteria. While I was waiting, there was a group of about 10 people who were both from my potential office as well as campus colleagues and it was clear that they genuinely liked each other and knew each other outside of work. They talked about going to Happy Hour, working out together, and watching TiVo-ed episodes of Lost or Heroes together. Simply amazing.
The other great thing about this institution was how closely they followed their mission and values. This was a thread that was incorporated into every interview I had and the first question the students asked me was how I was going to incorporate the mission into my work. I was so impressed by this because it was clear that everyone on campus knew what the institution was about as well as ways to get towards this goal. It was amazing! Also, I was slightly worried because the institution has very strong ties to a religion that I am neither a part of, or necessarily agree with on a lot of major points, but the emphasis was so clearly placed on the values gleaned from the religion and not the religion itself, that I couldn't help but fall in love with this place!
The day wrapped up with dinner with four Area Coordinators at a beautiful little local restaurant. We were laughing, dissecting each other's MBTI preferences, and by the end of the night, we were all eating off of each other's plates. I said that I was pretty sure that this was going against everything I had ever learned from Career Center presentations about interview etiquette, but we felt so comfortable with each other! At the end of dinner, they went over the salary, benefits, and other details of the job. Let's just say that the package that this school is offering is out of this world! They asked if I could see myself at this school and I said yes before he has finished his sentence. They said that all I would have to do would fill out an application online and they would call my references. Then they all looked at me like I was supposed to read between the lines and get that they couldn't officially offer, but that it was almost guaranteed. So it looks like unless my references say I am a creeper, I have the job. HOORAY!!! I'll be sure to blog as soon as I hear anything and think good thoughts for me!
In Medias Res #22-Closing up Shop
So I have been ‘cleaning’ out my desk all this week. That project will go well into next week, after my contract has ended because I failed to realize the massive undertaking that entailed. Sometime next week I’m hoping to get out to the new job and look for apartments. I still have not gotten an offer letter, but friends who took jobs before mine also haven’t received anything. So I guess I shouldn’t be worried about that? (I am anyways. It’s inevitable).
My parents come in tomorrow for graduation (which means I have a lot more cleaning to do between now and then). They will be here for most of the weekend, and then my next big responsibility is to close up shop. I have to somehow get myself from here to there with minimal pain. Already I am debating back and forth in my head over whether I want to keep things, sell them, be done with them or start over?
I would be interested in hearing what people did in preparation for the first job. Right now the start date seems far off, but in reality it is only a couple of weeks away. I really should build some time between then and now for me to relax. For me to sit down and just feel some pride in a job well done. Not only have I secured my self a position, but I’ve also got a masters degree! Well, almost.
